St. Peter's "The Holy Apostolic Cafeteria"

"Yeah, Father, give me a macchiato, stained in a Shroud of Turin pattern, and one of those Communion Wafer biscotti.

"How much? Three Our Fathers and seventy-six Hail Marys?

"Jeez, no offense, Father, but if I wanted to get screwed over a half-assed espresso, I'd go to Starbucks.

"I know, I know. I'll meet you in the confessional as soon as I'm finished here. Don't bust a cassock."