Harriet Miers Resignation Letter: The First Draft

Dear Mr. President,

I write to withdraw as a nominee to serve as your water-carrier on the Supreme Court of the United States. I have been greatly tickled by the confidence that you have shown in me, and have appreciated immensely your solitary support in the face of the universal contempt of many others. However, I am concerned that the confirmation process has been an unmitigated disaster for the White House and the entire conservative movement that is not in the best interest of you, me and any future we might have had together, if only things had gone a little differently.

As you know, members of the Senate have been asking really hard questions about laws and the constitution and such, not to mention that impossible questionnaire in order to judge whether to support me....

As I stated that magical night in the boathouse, the strength and independence of the Bush Administration are critical to the continued success of the covert evangelical coup we've all worked so long and hard on — oops, did I actually say "hard on?" It must be the Bailey's talking!