Keith Richards, the Picture of Health and Clean Living, Would Like to Say a Few Words to the Kids

The 64-year-old, who famously claimed to have snorted his father's ashes —but later denied it, revealed what his message would be to anyone using drugs.

“Give it up, it ain't really worth it. I know the fascination, but it ain't worth it,” he said.

“When I look back on all the fun I've had,” Richards said, “all the money I've made, and all the groupies, actresses, and barely legal prom queens I've shagged, all I can think is, What a waste. I mean, I could've been someone, you know. But I let drugs high jack my life plans.

“So instead of The Dream, my life ended here, in a sad mockery of the life that could have been. I've settled for heroin's euphoria instead of good, clean fun; hundreds of millions of dollars in the bank, instead of billions; and a supermodel wife, instead of an endless string of orgies that begin with horny young women doing lines of blow off my whithered, but chemically erect cock. Yeah, kids, you don't want to end up like me.

“For Lucifer's sake, just say no.

What? It's “for god's sake.” What did I say?”