All That Glitters Is Not Gold, and All Guys Who Can Sing Are Not Soul Singers

Girl, ooh, girl, you're looking so fine tonight girl, and I told you I'd make love to you all night long (all night long).

But girl (girl) —ooh, girl (ooh, girl)—let's try to be realistic, girl. Nobody really makes love all night long. (That's impossible.)

Though that would be impressive, girl, that would be a little bit excessive, girl (too much). And it would probably get uncomfortable to be that sexual (chafing). Don't forget that we have work tomorrow (8:00 a.m.). So we should really make sure we get some sleep.

But girl (girl), I'll make love to you the best I can, but it's not going to last real long (honesty). Well, I apologize in advance.

I can probably give you seven minutes (seven minutes) if you don't move around too much. Otherwise, I'll probably give you four minutes (four minutes)—uh—because when you move I get excited, girl.

Hey (hey), is it cool if I leave my shirt on girl, because I just had a big dinner (Boston Market), and I'm struggling with some negative body issues.

Girl, I would nothing more than to make sweet, honey-dipped love to you till the break of dawn, but, unfortunately, sex is something that I'm not very good at. So, please, girl, try not to laugh at me no matter how awkward this gets.

Girl (girl) let's talk sexual positions, girl. I hope you like the missionary (tried and true) because that's the only one I'm really comfortable with.

And g-ur-irl (girl) just one more quick, little thing, girl. Please feel free to fake an orgasm (I won't know) because that'll make me feel like I'm doing well.

Ah, girl.


Ah, dude, there really is such a thing as too much honesty in a relationship.