If You Think I'm Going in There, You're Crazy

Meet Melissa Lee Williams. The West Virginia woman, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct at a West Virginia motor inn.…

According to investigators, Williams—who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn—showed up at his door and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, pictured in the mug shot at right, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

While Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, told cops that he “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from Melissa Williams.“ Watson, understandably, “declined to proceed any further.”

This is when Melissa Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”


If I'm hearing that, it can only mean one thing. It's Friday night. You'd think it would get old, but it never does.

By the way, Ms. Lee, we have a saying around Fayetteville, which you would be smart to take to heart. It goes like this, “If you're going to invite people over to eat, you've got to wash your dishes.” Those simple words have allowed the women of Fayetteville to keep their knives tucked away until they really needed them—like when they wanted to cuddle.

*Thanks to PK for sending this to me