Yes, Grandma, They're Going to Find Me in a Shallow Grave. I Know

The Newton County Sheriff’s Office is investigating why a couple was confronted at gunpoint by neighbors and then arrested and forced to spend the night in jail when they tried to move into the home they had just purchased, Channel 2 Action News reported.

The Kalonji family had just closed on a foreclosed home and were told by their real estate agent they should go over to the house and change the locks.

But when Jean Kalonji and his wife, Angelica, started working at the home, an armed man and another person who appeared to be the man’s son allegedly confronted them.

“He say to put the hands up and get out from the house, otherwise he would shoot us,” the husband told Channel 2.

The neighbors didn’t believe the couple when they told them they had bought the home and called the Newton County Sheriff’s Office. The Kalonjis didn’t have the closing papers with them, so deputies arrested them, charged them with loitering and prowling and took them to jail.

So, the rules of post-racial America are these:

1. If you're young and black, don't wear hoodies.
2. If you're black and own a home, don't forget to carry your title with you at all times
3. If you're black and have any concern for your health and welfare, limit your contact with white people. Those mofos are crazy.

That pretty much covers it.

Oh, my grandmother is calling from the great beyond to say, you should especially stay away from white women, but I never listened to her when she was living and I don't recommend that you do now that she's passed. (There's nothing in her ethereal voice to suggest death has made her any saner.)