"250 from 377 Leaves... Let's See: 0 from 7 Leaves...No, No, Don't Tell Me or I'll Never Learn"

A U.S. Army officer came forward Friday to say a team from his 3rd Infantry Division took about 250 tons of munitions and other material from the Al-Qaqaa arms-storage facility soon after Saddam Hussein's regime fell in April 2003. Explosives were part of the load taken by the team, but Major Austin Pearson was unable to say what percentage they accounted for. The Pentagon believes the disclosure helps explain what happened to 377 tons of high explosives that the International Atomic Energy Agency said disappeared after the U.S.-led invasion.

Well, thank you. That does help explain where it went; but, it still leaves &mdash um, let's see (think-think, think-think) &mdash 127 tons of high explosives unaccounted for.

Even though I lack a formal training in demolitions, I feel fairly comfortable saying that's a lot of Ka-Boom, more than enough to send that Terror Alert sticker at the bottom of this page from Bert to Elmo if it were discovered to be in the wrong hands. (Tell me if I'm getting too technical, here, in my writing.)

Now, for all of you out there thinking Major Pearson is being a major fall guy, asking, "If you took the 250, where is it?" I can rest your cynical minds. I'm sure if Major Pearson were here in my bunker with me, he'd tell you he destroyed it along with all the other munitions his battalion confiscated. Happy?

If you'll excuse, then, I'd like to return to the fetal position I assumed under my desk when I heard the news of tons of missing explosives, Monday.

"Cool blue ocean, cool, blue ocean..."