When "Positive Black Talk" Takes on "Cash Money," Guess Who Wins. Well, Duh-Uh.

As often happens in the hip-hop world, two rappers became embroiled in a dispute over who owned the rights to a song that utilized a popular phrase. And it took the musical ear of the 5th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals to settle the matter.

Positive Black Talk Inc., et al. v. Cash Money Records, et al. plunged the conservative appellate court into the world of booming bass lines and popular street slang.

Chief Judge Carolyn Dineen King, who wrote the opinion, boiled the case down to a dispute between Louisiana rappers Juvenile and D.J. Jubilee over who owned the rights to a song "that included the poetic four-word phrase 'back that ass up.'"...

Juvenile's song was a hit, sold more than 4 million CDs and grossed more than $40 million in sales. However, D.J. Jubilee's song failed to elevate either his bank account or his profile. D.J. Jubilee continues to work as a special education teacher.

This is wrong on so many levels, someone considering "back that ass up" to be "positive black talk" being just the tip of that sorry iceberg. I'll leave the sorting out to you.

I will say this, though. That the illiterate who revealed his morals when he named his label "Cash Money Records" and told the printers "That's 'ass' with two z's" gets $40 million while the college graduate who — however misguided — named his company "Positive Black Talk," pursued a career teaching special needs children (and yeah, that's wrong, too. Don't' get me started), and spelled "ass" correctly got bupkis has got to be a sign of the Apocalypse.

That my head didn't explode when I read that this case made it to the U.S. 5th Circuit Court of Appeals — don't they have more important legal issues to attend to? — is another.

So many levels.