The 12 Saddest Words in the English Language: There's No Water for the 'Wash the Girl of Your Choice' Service

There's no water for the 'wash the girl of your choice' service and there aren't any girls either, but Big Daddy's strip club on New Orleans' Bourbon Street is getting ready to bring back erotic spectacle to the devastated city....

...Big Daddy's general manager, Saint Jones, and a band of helpers defied an evacuation order by arriving to clean up their premises in the historic French Quarter, which escaped largely unscathed from the floods.

Jones told Reuters he would open for business as soon as he could get electricity, water and dancers.

He was already had electricity from a generator, which was moving a pair of robotic woman's legs, in stockings and pink high heels, waving invitingly on the street by the sign for Big Daddy's.

He also had plenty of bottled water.

But his former employees had been evacuated, so his main problem was convincing girls to come to a town without services and supposedly off limits to most civilians.

But Jones, a corpulent man with a strawberry blond beard wearing a black t-shirt reading 'I'm smiling because they haven't found the bodies yet,' foresaw few problems getting strippers.

'It shouldn't be too hard. Everyone's going to come back in town and want to work. You know, if you've got 50 dancers in Houston and they're not making money, they're going to spread out,' he said....

Big Daddy's sign advertises several attractions, including 'Bottomless. Topless. Table top dancing,' and 'Wash the girl of your choice.'

This last item seemed to provide a business challenge in a city where the scant running water available in some districts is infected with feces and toxic loads of bacteria.

But Jones was undaunted.

'We'll make sure they get showers,' he said.

Jones then corrected himself. "Did I say, 'showers'? I did? Well, I meant, 'Baths.' Okay, if you want to pick nits, they won't be "bathing" so much as wrestling. In pudding, instead of water -- for health reasons.

When I have grandkids, I'm going to sit them down and tell them about this man. I'm going to look them straight in the eyes, lower my voice, and begin, "When I was a boy, gods walked the Earth."