The Terrorists Haven't Won, but Bet That Way, because It Looks Like the American Government Is about to Take a Dive. ("Say It Ain't Say, George.")

The FBI is joining the Bush administration's War on Porn. And it's looking for a few good agents.

Early last month, the bureau's Washington Field Office began recruiting for a new anti-obscenity squad....

The new squad will divert eight agents, a supervisor and assorted support staff to gather evidence against 'manufacturers and purveyors' of pornography -- not the kind exploiting children, but the kind that depicts, and is marketed to, consenting adults.

'"I guess this means we've won the war on terror," said one exasperated FBI agent, speaking on the condition of anonymity because poking fun at headquarters is not regarded as career-enhancing.

Do they know how many special agents are qualified to take on this kind of mission? If they'd just consider their resources, they discover a multitude of dedicated citizens they could employ who already know their way around the national spank that is the porn industry, so many, in fact, they'd never have to take a single agent away from the War on Terror.

I bet they'd even work for free.

How hard could finding a few agents like that be? I mean, just a cursory look at my Internet practices and credit card charges would show how easy locating a few porn czars and czarinas would be.

On second thought, stay away from my Internet and credit card charges. There's absolutely of value to be found there.

And for the record (since we all know you're going to check them now), I thought a Cleveland Steamer was a midwestern clam dish. I was merely searching for a recipe.