"Unlikely Pen Pals: Penny Dobson, Seventh-Grader from Suburban New Jersey circa 1985, and Vladimir Tarkovsky, Inmate of a Siberian Gulag, circa 1952"

Dear Vladimir,

Hi. How are ya? This is so awesome. I’ve never had a pen pal before. Now I’ve got an honest-to-God Russian guy to write to. I guess I should tell you a bit about myself. My name is Penny. I’m in the seventh grade. I like singing, watching TV (“Eight Is Enough”!), and writing in my journal. Sometimes I write in my journal and pretend like I’m writing to a pen pal. Now I don’t have to. I can just write you. Yay! Write back real soon and tell me about your crazy life “Back in the U.S.S.R.” (Corny, I know, but my parents loooove the Beatles.)

Your pal,
Penny

P.S. Do you prefer to be called a Ruskie? I’m never sure about those sorts of things.
* * *

My Dearest Penelope,

Apologies must come first. My English is poor and for writing there is this nub of coal and this soiled rag only.

...

That's why I stopped writing prisoners: They're sooooo needy.

And they get out.