"Navel to Anus" Is the New "Soup to Nuts"

This country, as you know, is filled with the deranged. And then there's Travis Frey, a 33-year-old Iowa man who is facing charges that he tried to kidnap his own wife (not to mention a separate child pornography rap). Frey, prosecutors contend, apparently is a rather demanding guy. In fact, he actually drew up a bizarre four-page marriage document--a 'Contract of Wifely Expectations'--that sought to establish guidelines for his spouse in terms of hygiene, clothing, and sexual activities. . . .

Hygiene & Self-Care:
You will shave every third day which includes underarms, chest, legs, and pubic area (navel to anus), all areas are to be completely clean shaven. Above your vaginal slit you may have a patch of pubic hair in any shape, that must be centered above your vaginal slit. It will measure no greater than 2.0"X1.0" and will maintain a hair length of less 1/3".

I love the fact that she is given the right to express herself pubic-ly -- "you may have a patch of pubic hair in any shape" -- as long as she can fit her personal expression of self into a 2X1 inch, centered space.

I'm guessing, little gestures of kindness and respect like that are what made her fall so in love with him in the first place.