And June 4th Is Take Your Penis To Work Day

The author of the sizzling new nonfiction bestseller, The Vagina Whisperer is making the rounds of the talk-show circuit and taking Manhattan by storm.

The OB/GYN turned sex therapist has penned a self-help book that’s part memoir and part “how-to” guide that is empowering women all over the city to talk to their vaginas.

What? Huh?

Yes. Says the good Doctor Carol, “Women need to reassure their vaginas that they are loved. Masturbation is a way in which we can love ourselves, but vaginas crave more than just pleasure: they crave affection.”

Dr. Carol’s vulva self-love encourages women to think outside the box, designating Thursday May 4, 2006, as “National Vagina Day.” She has lined up appearances on Oprah and Ellen to bring attention to this very special day. . . . It’s a way of raising your vagina’s self-esteem. It’s time to celebrate our vaginas, and not blame them for our recent breakups.”

As someone who just went through a recent breakup, I blamed my vagina for all of my problems. I asked Dr. Carol what I should do.

“You need to spend some quality time with your vagina. You need to have a girl’s night out with your vagina. Say to your vagina, ‘I love you, Vagina.’ Take your vagina shopping. You need to curl up with your vagina and a good book. You need to take your vagina to lunch.”