"Call Me 'Big Poppa' when You Back That Volvo Stationwagon Up"

Titles of Songs I Could Credibly Write If I Became a Rap Star.

BY GREG HOWARD

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Mama Said Have Some Milk and Cookies

Bitches and Hos (I Have Neither/Nor)

I Know Someone Who Has a Friend of a Friend Who's Chillin' on Death Row

I Like Medium-Sized Butts ... I Mean, It's Great If They Have Some Dimension but Let's Not Get Carried Away, but on the Other Hand It's No Good When the Legs Just Shoot Straight Up to the Hips and There's Nothing Else There, I Hate That

Smack My Fax Up