Neat Dresser, Hard Body, Immaculate Hair, Matronly Beard: Oh, Yeah, That Man Is Eat Up with "The Gay"

Senator Larry E. Craig said Tuesday that he regretted his guilty plea in connection with an airport restroom incident, and he accused an Idaho newspaper of hounding him in recent months.

“I am not gay; I never have been gay,” Mr. Craig, an Idaho Republican, said at a brief appearance outside the Wells Fargo Bank building downtown.

After walking slowly to the microphone, holding the hand of his "wife," Suzanne, Mr. Craig, 62, apologized for “the cloud placed over Idaho” by his arrest and guilty plea to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct.

He would not answer reporters’ questions, and he offered no detailed explanation for the events that began with his arrest in June by an undercover police officer in a men’s restroom at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.

According to the police report, first obtained by Roll Call, the Capitol Hill newspaper that disclosed the episode and the guilty plea on Monday, the incident began with Mr. Craig’s peering into the undercover officer’s stall several times through the crack in the door.

Then, Mr. Craig reportedly entered the stall to the left of the undercover officer “and placed his roller bag against the front of the stall door,” a move the officer said was intended to block the view from the front of the stall.

When he was seated, Mr. Craig tapped his right foot in a signal used by people wishing to engage in lewd conduct, the report said.

After the officer moved his own foot up and down, the report said, Mr. Craig moved his right foot so that it touched the side of the officer’s left foot under the stall divider. Mr. Craig also reportedly swiped his left hand under the stall three times before the officer held his police identification down by the floor so Mr. Craig could see it.

“Biff Loman for the defense, your Honor.

“Clearly, this is a misunderstanding, which I can clear up with just a few minutes of your time.

“If it will please the Court, although I respect the arresting officer's experience and training, in this case, I have to question his conclusions.

“My client did peer into the officer's stall, but only to see if it were occupied. And he did put his luggage against the door. Not to signal that he was cruisin', as suggested, but to hold the door closed, as the latch was broken. Yes, he did tap his foot, but the reason for that is because he, a 62-year-old man, had had a successful bowel movement and he was giddy with accomplishment. Some men hum. Others say, ‘Ahh’ or ‘Thank God!’ My client gets happy feet. Finally, when he was reaching under the door, the only message he was trying to convey was that his stall was out of paper and that he needed to borrow a square.

“That's why he showed the officer his congressional card. When the officer showed his badge, he thought that meant the officer was out of paper, too, and was planning to use his badge as a consequence. My client was merely offering him something softer for next time.

All perfectly reasonable reactions to the context.

“What's that? Yes, my client is prepared to begin his sentence today? Why do you ask?”