He Wanted It. Look into Those Dark, Two-Dimensional Eyes. You Know He Wanted it

A Polish worker has come up with an unusual excuse after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner.

The building contractor claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.

A stunned security guard stumbled onto the man in the middle of a compromising act with the cleaner, which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its “nose.” …

The security guard, suitably horrified, told the man to “clean himself and the hoover” before asking him to leave and informing his bosses.

When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was “a common practice in Poland.” He has since been fired.


I am shocked—SHOCKED!—to find this kind of bigotry going on in this day and age. I mean, really, all the man was trying to do was clean himself in a manner consistent with his ethic beliefs and customs, and what does he get for his cultural pride? Incarceration. It's outrageous, is what it is. For shame, England. For shame!

I can't believe millions of citizens haven't jumped to defend this victim of racial prejudice. I guess, after all this time, we've learned nothing:

… They came first for the Communists, And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist;

And then they came for the trade unionists, And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist;

And then they came for the pervs, And I didn't speak up because I had a ball-gag in my mouth;

And then they came for me … And by that time there was no one left to speak up.

So I asked my tormentors, “Can I have the vacuum cleaner?”