Another Sign: She Asks her Girlfriend to Hold her Wig

Handing her 8-month-old off to a store employee, a Family Dollar Store customer yanked hair out of the head of another woman in line, choked the woman’s mother and chomped down on a police officer’s finger Wednesday, according to an arrest report.

The incident took place about 6 p.m. at the 2049 S. U.S. 1 store, according to the report. The suspect, Tiffany Mashae Brown, 24, of 16th Street, attacked the victims because she was irate about being directed to a different register than the one she started at.

“Brown almost dropped her baby and started walking toward (another customer) while saying, ‘I'm gonna kill you!’” according to the report. Brown hit the 34-year-old woman in the face and upper body and then scratched her face and pulled her hair so that blond strands littered the store.

When the 53-year-old mother of the victim tried to stop the fight, Brown choked her and struck her in the face, according to the report.

Brown bit the last victim, a Fort Pierce Police Department officer, when he struggled to detain her due to her large size — 265 pounds, according to the report.


Apparently, some of you didn't get the memo, the one that identifies the signs that a can of whup-ass is about to be opened up on you. So, to recap, if a very enraged young lady looking in your direction hands her infant over to a discount store customer service representative, you have just popped the top on a 265-pound can of unrepentant, hair-pulling, momma-choking, penny-pinching, sphincter-busting, you-should've-“tased her bro'”-biting fury, and you should be thinking seriously about an exit strategy.

I can't believe I have to tell you this.

(By the way, does anyone else smell bullshit, here, regarding the reason offered for Ms. Brown lauching the WWF-style smackdown on the “victim?” If she were angry over being told to go to a different register, as the arrest report claims, wouldn't she have been kicking the Family Dollar Store clerk's ass instead of some random person's? That story doesn't carry the whiff of truth about it.

I offer this in its stead. Ms. Brown has 12 items in the “10 Items or Less” line, when the clerk informs her that she must move to one of the other registers. As Ms. Brown begins to gather her things and move, the “victim” says in a stage whisper to her mother, “I know she can't manage birth control, but I assumed she could at least count.” “Hold my baby,” ass-whuppin, and jailarity ensue.

So, am I right or is the arrest report?)