By the Time I Was 6 and my 3 Brothers Were 7, the Emergent Care Workers at the Army Hospital Knew Us by Name

I've always admired people that could dunk a basketball, but the only thing more triumphant than throwing down a tomahawk slam is having 20,000 people see you fail at doing it. These are the 20 of the stupidest, death defying, nonathletic slam dunk attempts in the history of mankind. From getting your leg stuck in the rim, to having your chest caved in by the backboard, these people attempted to reach the stars … only to be brought back to the ground. Hard. Some of you will laugh (I know I did for most of them). Some of you will cringe, and some of you will cry. Either way, there is some success in these epic fails: they caught them on tape.

This blog entry is titled “ 20 Ways to Die Trying to Dunk a Basketball,” but that's not what I took from reading it. To me, it should be called “Anyone Who Raises a Male Child to Maturity without It Losing Any Extremities or Organs Should Get a Medal.”

Seriously, poorly laid out plans that ended in injury, like this, happened around my house every day after school:



And the only lasting injury was to my mother's sanity. Poor thing: she's bat shit crazy now, and has been pretty much since I was 4.

Hey, Ma, my bad.