Everyone Knows Willie Nelson Has Just Got Better with Age

Designer Laser Vaginoplasty® (DLV®) is the aesthetic surgical enhancement of the vulvar structures, labia majora, mons pubis, perineum, introitus and hymen (see figure). DLV® has provided creative treatment solutions for patients from over 50 states and 30 countries. This has provided us with a vast experience and creative expertise to aesthetically design procedures in line with the specifications and desires of the patient.

Many people have asked us for an example of the aesthetically pleasing vulva. We went to our patients for the answer and they said the playmates of Playboy.

Although our experience and techniques provide us the ability to design most anything that one can desire, our most common DLV® procedures are as follows: …

Laser Perineoplasty can rejuvenate the relaxed or aging perineum. It can also enhance the sagging labia majora (large outer lips) and labia minora. Overall, the procedure can provide a youthful and aesthetically appealing vulva.


First, let me give a shout out to Dr. Matlock:

Dr. Matlock is a board certified gynecologic surgeon and a full fellow of the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery. Dr. Matlock is the pioneer of the trademarked procedures, Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation® (LVR®), Designer Laser Vaginoplasty® (DLV®) and the G-Shot® or G-Spot Amplification. Dr. Matlock is the founder and medical director of the Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation Institute® of America. He has trained over 125 surgeons (gynecologists, plastic surgeons, and urologists) in over 21 countries. Dr. Matlock is a frequent guest lecturer at national and international medical conferences on LVR® and DLV®.

Brother, respect.

Second, and more important, let me say something to the ladies. Ladies, Perineoplasty? Really? This is a concern? Come on.

Now, I know we're all a little self-conscious about aging. And as we get older, vanity gets the better of us, and we do little things here and there to hold on to the the things we love the most about ourselves.

But your perineum? Really?

Let it go.

If you have someone who is in a position to see and is genuinely interested in pleasuring you and your taint, you're not going to lose him because you've got a few miles on the taint-al odometer. Anyone holding an E ticket for that ride has come to play, and will love it that you've provided him more to play with. (It'll keep him occupied while the two of you wait for the Viagra to kick in.)

So relax, and spend that $9,000 on something else, like a trip to Paris or sex toys to do things that you need help doing nowadays or—to be practical, here— a defibrillator. Leave the plastic surgery to the young people.

** This has been another public address message by Biff Loman and The Truth* Health Service Network