Yeah, That's Right: She's Dumber than You Could Have Ever Imagined

Katie Couric: You've cited Alaska's proximity to Russia as part of your foreign policy experience. What did you mean by that?

Sarah Palin: That Alaska has a very narrow maritime border between a foreign country, Russia, and, on our other side, the land-boundry that we have with Canada. It's funny that a comment like that was kinda made to … I don't know, you know … reporters.

Couric: Mocked?

Palin: Mocked, yeah I guess that's the word, mocked.

Couric: Well, explain to me why that enhances your foreign-policy credentials.

Palin: Well, it certainly does, because our, our next-door neighbors are foreign countries, there in the state that I am the executive of. And there…

Couric: Have you ever been involved in any negotiations, for example, with the Russians?

Palin: We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It's very important when you consider even national-security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right next to, they are right next to our state.


The questions were how does your state's proximity to Russia enhance your foreign policy credentials and have you ever been involved in any negotiations? One hundred mangled words and tortured logic later and we still don't have an answer. Sorry words and logic. I guess you're just casualties of maw.

Let me see if I can help. Being near Russia doesn't enhance your foreign-policy credentials. You have not dealt with Russia in any way on a federal level. You've negotiated no trade agreements, brokered no treaties, designed nor implemented any national defense strategies (or state ones for that matter). All you've done is try to stir up long-dead Cold War fears among the ignorant.

For those of you who do not speak Right Wing Wackjob—really, people, a second language opens up the world in so many ways. What are you waiting for?—let me translate Nutty McParanoid's twisted text for you:

As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It's Alaska. It's just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right next to, they are right next to our state.

Well, first off, Putin is no longer the president of Russia. He, no doubt, is still the tail wagging the dog, but Dmitry Medvedev is Russia's president. Olde Pooty Poot, is now the prime minister. She should have used Medvedev in this case, but like her, the wackos who thinks she's competent wouldn't have known who Medvedev is. This is a shameful indictment of the Alaska education system (someone should write a letter to that state's governor) and her Vice Presidential Debate coaches.

Second off, when she says “Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go?” she isn't talking about the Russian prime minister coming over to the U.S. on a trade mission. She's talking about nuclear missiles. And she's such a simpleton, that she thinks they all come over Alaska. (Few of them do—or our Defense Department thinks few of them have that trajectory. That's why we have fewer than 20 anti-missile batteries assigned to Alaska for our defense.)

But even if that were true—again, it really, really isn't—it wouldn't enhance her foreign-policy credentials, because as governor, she has nothing to do with our national defense and Alaska's part in it.

But we should all be afraid of this statement, “It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia” because it shows she thinks Russia is a threat to our national security—as, apparently, is Canada.

(I bet those Canadians are sorry they tried to sandbag Obama in the primary now. Ah, thank you, karma.)