I Wish Washington Were a Contested State. (Go Tar Heels!)

It's time to elect a president. For the first time in decades, North Carolina could be in play. If you live in North Carolina, look around you.

Hog farmer: I vote because I'm a god-fearing hog farmer. And there's a bunch of same-sex hog coupling going on on my hog farm. I mean, ignore the teats on this'n'. Imagine this'n's a boy and that'n's a boy.

Some of these people are your neighbors. They plan to vote.

Husband: I vote to keep whites in power.
Wife: Hail, whites forever!

Do you plan to vote? Please vote. It's the only legal way to cancel out your neighbors.

Everyone has there own reasons for voting. Make yours a good one.

Vote.