I Can See What He Means: that Cat is Pretty Sexy (or a Sure Sign I've Been in the State of Washington Too Long)

Hi, I'm Dr. Ricky LeMayne, and for years, I've struggled with having erections at the wrong time. I'd be at the gym, and I'd see a fat girl on LifeCycle, or I'd be watching two cheetahs doing it at the zoo, or I'd just be at the grocery store watching grown women shop for cucumbers.

There's a billion drugs out there that can help you get it up, but only one that can help you keep your stuff down—Suppressex. I created Suppressex after I was at a Super Bowl party and that commercial came on with the real sexy M&M, you know, the green one with the legs. (Come on. You know she got it going on.)

Here take a look at this chart:




In just 10 minutes, Suppressex can take your sexual arousal from Red High Heels to Crocs to those prescription shoes for people with different sized legs.…

I don't know how Supppressex works. It has some freaky nun juice in it or something. I just know that when I take one, I don't have to worry about getting into a crowded elevator while wearing sweat pants.

It's perfect for Church, Public Pools, Yoga Class, Laying Face-Down on Waterslides, Watching Old Ladies Suck on Grapes, and Standing.

Uh oh, that cat isn't wearing any pants. [Pops a Suppressex.] Whew! Thanks, Suppressex.


My love-hate relationship with Tracy Morgan continues.