Tequila, It's a Hell of a Drug

Mr. Harper: Feel that, Mr. President. Are you appreciating how crusty and rash-y the surface is? Well, sir, that's what a tongue feels like after a night of drinking tequila.

In fact, this is an actual tongue, Mr. Calderon's. I told him to stop after three Margaritas, but then, those co-ed showed up, demanding to do body shots, and…

What's that, Mr. President? Yes, we did have to trim it down to get it to fit in the exhibit. Very astute observation.

What's that, Mr. Calderon?

Mr. Calderon: Ik wur go bawhh?

Mr. Harper: Yes, “Mister I-am-the-Lizard King. Drink-heartily-from-my-Patrón-dipped-staff-of-life-and-prosper,” once it shrinks to normal size, we can reattach it. You'll be as good as new..