"How Long," You Ask, "Before Our Society Hits Cultural Rock Bottom?" "Not Long," I Say. "20-30 More Minutes Tops"

Let me guess. The girls ring the doorbells, say "Trick or Treat," and bring their confectionary booty back to the little boys. The little boys say "Where's the rest of my candy, bitch," slap them, and take ninety percent of their collected candy bars, penny candy, and popcorn balls. Or, at least, I hope that's how it goes.

Any parent who dresses their kids up in these get-ups deserves to see exactly how funny the pimp-and-ho life is.

Oh, and by the way, "This country is going to hell in a bright pink, '74 Electra 225."

Coots like me, who lack a comprehension of modern times and its sensibility, have to say stuff like that every now and then. It's in the handbook.