WWAY NewsChannel 3, Wilmington, NC: New Details: Human Finger in Custard

"'I said 'Gosh this ice cream is good.' Then I said, 'Gosh, there's something hard in my ice cream,' said Clarence, remembering the moments before he found the finger. Clarence said he wished he'd realized it was a finger before he tried to eat it. 'I proceeded to put the object in my mouth. Got all the ice cream off of it, spit it in my hand, said 'God, this ain't no nut!' So I proceeded in here to the kitchen, rinsed it off with water, and realized it was a human finger, and I just started screaming,' he said."

Apparently, he started screaming, "A lawyer! A lawyer! My double-wide for a lawyer!" as later in the story we find that Clarence is keeping his toy surprise in the freezer, evidence for his impending lawsuit. It's the kind of thing that makes you proud to be an American in the 21st century.

And then you find out this is the second finger lopped off at that restaurant, by that machine, which is when, if you're like me -- and who isn't? -- you stop feeling the decline of American society, and start feeling a little sympatico with the litigating mob.

Sue on, brother. Sue on.