"It Was a Darky and Stormy Night..."

The Bulwer-Lytton Awards are out, and although I thought this year's entires were not as awful in the creative way they are meant to be as they have been traditionally, they're still pretty good.

My favorites include

Looking sideways at Thomas, Mireille slowly removed her scarf, waiting . . . hoping . . . praying that when he came close enough to smell the delectable fragrance of her long, luscious waves that he wasn't going to start sneezing or sniffling or rubbing his eyes, because those were tell-tale signs of his allergies acting up, and if they did, he would know that she had been out rolling around in the lavender fields with Luc again.

Keriann Noble
Murray, UT"

and

As soon as Sherriff Russell heard Bradshaw say, "This town ain't big enough for the both of us," he inadvertantly visualized a tiny chalk-line circle with a town sign that said 'population 1,' and the two of them both trying to stand inside of it rather ineffectively, leaning this way and that, trying to keep their balance without stepping outside of the line, and that was why he was smiling when Bradshaw shot him.

Kerriann Noble (Again: Talented Woman)
Murray, UT

Giournalistica might find this one amusing:

Inside his cardboard box, Greg heated a dented can of Spaghetti-O's over a small fire made from discarded newspapers, then cracked open his last can of shoplifted generic beer to celebrate the 10th anniversary of his embarkation on a career as a freelance writer.

Lawrence Person
Austin, TX

Check 'em out if you've got nothing better to do.