It's Stuff like This That Keeps Me Surfing the Web
You may find this information incredible - but read on. It may begin to make sense once you get used to the idea. . . .
If you have ever felt, as many, many people do, that after you have evacuated, there is still something left, here is the reason:
The anal canal is UNSTRAIGHTENED when seated. Bowel evacuation when seated results frequently in OBSTRUCTIVE CONSTIPATION".
That might be true. And I don't care.
My friends, you can have the full contents of my bowels when you can pry it from my cold, dead puborectalis muscle.
posted by Biff Loman at 6:29 PM
6 Comments:
This explains a lot.
Apparently, in countries where squatting (and, presumably, using leaves to wipe) is the norm, colorectal cancer, prostate cancer, and a host of other shitty illnesses just don't exist.
BUT, on the other hand (i.e., the one people who can't afford leaves use to wipe), the populations of these same countries tend to face other problems, like not having any food to pass through their bowels in the first place...
Yeah, sign me up for that "Nature's Platform" thingy right away.
Yeah, the problem is that this Squatter leaves out the other things. Medical researchers have tied colorectal cancer et al to our crappy diets more convincingly than this person (and others) have tied them to our pinched colons.
It's a causation issue. Basically, they've found a correlation between these two variables. What they haven't done is proved that one produces the other.
I mean, there's a strong correlation between ice cream consumption and criminal assaults, but that doesn't mean ice cream causes beat-downs.
Researchers found that hot weather tended to causes both to go up and that the two rarely had anything to do with the other (although, now that I think about it, there was a quart of ice cream on the table at the OJ murder scene. Hmm.)
But that's why I love the Web. You can always find someone finding a convincing connection and arguing passionately for her conclusion on just about anything.
Now that I'm off of the decongestants and thinking clearer, I'm remembering that Mom taught us to hover over any and all toilets away from home.
This will explain either why I have strong thigh muscles, or why I never have constipation.
Hmmm.
High fiber and coffee colonics: I'd say more, but I don't want to give away too much.
'zactly!
Post a Comment
<< Home