Based on the "Never Kick a Man When He's Down unless You're Sure He's Down. Then, Don't Stop Kicking" Theory

Mel Gibson’s Project Redlight
by Todd Levin

Internal Memo: Icon Pictures
From: M. Gibson
To: Production Staff

Guys—

As you know, I’ve been caught with my pants down. (But this time not literally, thankfully.) Under the influence of a deadly disease called alcoholism, I said some crazy things. Things that were totally made up and had never actually crossed my mind before, even casually. For this I am sorry, as the thoughtful statement drafted by my Jew publicist attests.

Due to these recent events, and at my Jew attorney’s behest, I’ve decided it would be prudent to put certain projects from our production slate on hold, at least until all of this mishigas clears up. Below are the Icon projects that are, as of today, “on ice.”

Peace be unto you,
Mel

Two words: Jelly. Tits. It's for the kids.