Teri Smith Tyler, I Tip My Aluminum Foil Hat at You and Bow Deeply, in Recognition that Your Conspiracy Fu Is Stronger than Mine

Plaintiff Teri Smith Tyler . . . filed a complaint in December 1992 alleging a bizarre conspiracy involving the defendants to enslave and oppress certain segments of our society. Plaintiff contends she is a cyborg, and that she received most of the information which forms the basis for her complaint, through ``proteus,'' which I read to be come silent, telepathic form of communication. ... She asserts that the defendants are involved in the ``Iron Mountain Plan,'' which provides for the reinstitutionalization of slavery and ``bloodsports'' (which she identifies as death-hunting and witchhunting), and the oppression of political dissidents, herself included. . . . Plaintiff also makes the following allegations against the defendants. Former President Jimmy Carter was the secret head of the Ku Klux Klan; Bill Clinton is the biological son of Jimmy Carter; President Clinton and Ross Perot have made fortunes in the death-hunting industry, and are responsible for the murder of at least 10 million black women in concentration camps, their bodies sold for meat and their skin turned into leather products. . . . Additionally, the defendants utilize weather control and earthquake technology to threaten other countries that object to the Iron Mountain Plan.

Plaintiff additionally contends that Gulf War against Iraq was undertaken so that American could restock its sexual slavery camps, which had been depleted. . . . Plaintiff claims to have confronted Secretary of Defense Cheney with evidence of this allegation. Cheney, through ``proteus,'' purportedly told the plaintiff, ``Well, we were so sick and tiered of killing black girls. We just had to put some variety back into our death-hunting industry. And they [Persians] are incredibly beautiful. The beauty of the face heightens the pleasure of the kill. I know of no higher pleasure than the gang-rape of exceedingly beautiful people."

Until I read that, I thought she was nuts. I'm not so sure, now. I mean, that sounds exactly like something Cheney would say.

And Persians are incredibly beautiful.

Hmm. I'm going to have to retire to my hyperbaric chamber to think about this.