Just Another Case of 'The Man' Trying to Keep an Erection Down

You may have heard about Dennis Saunders, the California peeping Tom who is suing police in a bid to force them to return his large pornography stash, which was seized during a raid on his home in late-2001. Saunders, 59, was jailed in 2002 for secretly videotaping a woman and a 17-year-old girl in their respective bedrooms and bathrooms at an apartment complex. Saunders, who was released from prison last month, wants the San Rafael Police Department to return hundreds of videos and magazines, which are meticulously described in a 40-page evidence log prepared by investigators (Saunders claims the X-rated material has a "reasonable fair value of $25,000). On the following pages, you'll find excerpts from the police inventory, which provides a sampling of the material for which Saunders is fighting. Fresh out of the can, he wants a judge to reunite him with films like "Raw Sex Mardi Gras Vol #2," "Cum To Drink Of It," and most of the "Seattle Hairy Girls" oeuvre.

Well, du-uh: without Seattle Hairy Girls #8, Seattle Hairy Girls #1-7 make no sense. SHG #8 is where the secret behind the hair is revealed. (And they would have got away with not shaving, too, if it hadn't have been for those meddling kids and their pot-smoking dog. But I digress.)

But the real mystery is, Why won't the police return his porn? They've had enough time to recover it from the officers. Just Lysol the lot of it and turn it over, none the worse for wear.

Dude, though, seriously, "Clear Bag Containing Underwear Labeled 'Jade'?" Do you want those back? Seriously?