Would You Steal a Doughnut from This Policeman?

Authorities said Scott A. Masters, 41, slipped the doughnut into his sweat shirt without paying, then pushed away a clerk who tried to stop him as he fled the store.

The push is being treated as minor assault, which transforms a misdemeanor shoplifting charge to a strong-armed robbery with a potential prison term of five to 15 years. Because he has a criminal history, prosecutors say they could seek 30 years.

Farmington Police Chief Rick Baker said state law treats the shoplifting and assault as forcibly stealing property. The amount of force and value of the property doesn't matter.

"It's not the doughnut," Baker said. "It's the assault."

Anytime, a police officer tells you, "it's not the doughnut," it's the doughnut. When you consider Masters could rape Police Chief Baker's dog and sell its buggered ass to Michael Vick for use in a dog-fighting match and still face less time than he's facing now, trust me: It's the doughnut.