Let Me Drop a Deuce. Then, I'll Show You My ‘O-Face’

Clearly, I've been missing out on some serious bidet orgasms, a sad state of affairs I will be rectifying in a few weeks.

That's good and bad news for the Bush administration. The good news is I'm going to spend their stimulus check just like they said I should. (Savings be damned!) The bad news is that they are not going to like what I'm going to be stimulating with their money.