“While You're In There, Officer, Would You Dial My Lawyer? He's at Pound Sign 1, My Hot Key”

Meet Jeffrey Barrier. The Ohio man allegedly used a cell phone camera to snap photos of a naked woman at a tanning salon Saturday and then hid the phone in his anus in a bid to thwart police. Standing on a chair, Barrier, 41, took the photos at Cincinnati's Aloha Tanning, where a 35-year-old woman was “in the nude in a tanning room,” according to a Hamilton County Municipal Court affidavit. When cops later confronted Barrier, “he kept denying any involvement of the incident” and claimed to not have a camera. However, a second search of the suspect turned up the camera. As noted in a Hamilton County Sheriff's Office report, Barrier “did hide evidence in his anus.”

The sad part is even in his colon, the phone got more bars than mine does in my office. “More coverage in more areas” my ass.