I Guess This Was More Cost-Efficient than Actually Making a Soda that Tasted Good

Pepsi was made in the Carolinas. I don't know if this new ad campaign is making a statement about that. (I've been more suicidal since moving to my new home, here, in the Land of Mist and Gloom.) What I do know is I'm no longer confused about why Pepsi comes in second to Coca-Cola.

While its competitor is teaching the world to sing in perfect harmony and using polar bears and penguins to show us how cute celebrating difference can be at Christmas time, Pepsi is showing us the way to deal with holiday depression. As much as I find that a valuable public service for all of us at this time of Yule—hey, Christmas time sucks hard on the soul for lonely and serotonin-challenged peoples (true story)—I don't think it's the best way to sell soda.

Seriously, even if your ad campaign is successful, you're targeting a one-and-done demographic. You're totally missing out on the repeat business that's flooding your competitors' coffers.

I'm just not sure they've thought this through.