Someone Asked Me to Caption This

Bill: Well, honey, I held up my part of the bargain. I campaigned hard for you, trashing my legacy and burning my bridges to the black and progressive communities in the process.

And when the campaign failed and you thought you still had a chance in 2012, who kept your name and your policies in the public eye? In interview after interview, I embarrassed myself by offering up back-handed compliments to Barack as I reminded voters that McCain wasn't that bad.

Then, when Obama won, I revealed my donor list to the media to help you become secretary of state, which wasn't even part of the bargain. But I did it.

I've done everything you've asked. It's your turn: Quid pro quo, Senator Clinton. Quid pro quo.

Hillary: I can't believe you want to go through with this.

Bill: Oh, hell yeah. After this dance, I want to go back to the hotel. I want you to jump in that thong, put on the blue dress, black wig, and beret, and then, I want you to make with the “intern” action. And like you mean it, too. I want you fully involved, working on it, like making me cum could produce peace in the Middle East.

Oh, and when I call you “Monica,” that'll be your cue to pay attention to my balls.

Hillary: Speaking of which, you must be really bundled up tonight, to not feel me repeatedly kneeing you in the groin.