“The 5 Stages of Most Relationships”

Written by Cory Jones and Justin Halpern

Relationships are a lot of work. They can end in happiness, but most often, they end in a passive aggressive battle. We decided we’d show you the stages of most relationships.

Stage 1

You told them a story they told you was “hilarious” even though it was super boring, and about some friend you've never even met.

Stage 2

You tell a friend that “something feels different about this one.” They remind you that you said that last time. You tell them “last time was different, though.”

Stage 3

They do something to piss you off. You tell a friend and they say “what an asshole/bitch.” Instead of defending your partner, you agree that they can be a total bitch/asshole sometimes.

Stage 4

Your friends start to tell you stuff like “I'm not really sure he/she's right for you.” You sigh and say “I dunno. I just don't fucking know.”

Stage 5

You have dreams where the other person dies in a fiery plane crash. Dreams, not nightmares


Five Stages? Really? Five? They're not padding the article for a word count? Wow.