What about LoLo? LoLo Needs Love, Too

Two former employees of the Gorilla Foundation, home of Koko the "talking" ape, have filed a lawsuit contending that they were ordered to bond with the 33-year-old female simian by displaying their breasts....

The suit follows complaints filed by Alperin and Keller in January with the California Department of Fair Employment and Housing, in which they gave identical reasons for why they were fired: "I refused to expose my breast to perform acts of bestiality with one of the gorillas."

The law suit goes into more detail.

One example: "On at least two incidents in mid-to-late June 2004, Patterson intensely pressured Keller to expose herself to Koko while they were working outside where other employees could potentially view Keller's naked body. ...On one such occasion, Patterson said, "Koko, you see my nipples all the time. You are probably bored with my nipples. You need to see new nipples. I will turn my back so Kendra can show you her nipples.'" ...

The suit, in any case, says that Patterson would interpret hand movements by Koko as a demand to see exposed human nipples. She warned Alperin and Keller that their employment with the foundation would suffer, the suit says, if they "did not indulge Koko's nipple fetish."

She gave similar warnings to the plaintiffs about indulging Koko's other fetishes -- white cotton panties, fried 'nana sandwiches, and post-media chat breakfasts, where the hairy linguist ate scrambled eggs and grub worms off the chests of hookers, which the women were to provide. Further, the suit states that Alperin and Keller performed other duties for the star, duties that included, but were not limited to, letting the ape snort Columbia's finest blow off their stomachs before media chats -- to help her perform -- and aiding in the conduct of the star's Courvoisier colonics (because, as Koko signed to them, "It ain't gonna' pump itself").

Koko was unavailable for comment at the time of this writing. Shortly after the Alperin and Keller's law suit was filed, she entered into the local veterinary hospital.

As this is sure to be a show trial, rumor has it, she is getting some work done.