Looks Like I'm Going to Need to File an Amendment to My 2000 and 2001 Returns

Federal authorities went to court to shut down a city tax preparer on the day income-tax returns were due, alleging he filed fraudulent returns for several customers who claim a bogus tax credit based on slave reparations for African-Americans.

The government obtained a temporary restraining order yesterday against Kevin Hardy that bars him from preparing tax returns for others until a full hearing on a request for preliminary injunction can take place....

...Hardy...has prepared an unknown number of false returns that claim a bogus tax credit based on the alleged entitlement of African-Americans to reparations for slavery, segregation, treatment as second-class citizens or separate-but-equal laws.

If you're thinking "Why in the name of John Wesley Cromwell, Jr., would he think he could pull the wool over the IRS's eyes with a bald-faced hoax like that?" it's because you didn't let me finish. Ahem,

The federal government began cracking down on such bogus claims in 2002 after the Internal Revenue Service mistakenly paid out more than $30 million in slave-reparations credits in 2000 and part of 2001.

Now, that pisses me off -- "he struggled to typed, as his aneurism, inflated to to the size of a small squirrel, made it difficult to use the left side of his body" -- not because someone bilked us, the citizens of this fine country, out of $30 million, but because I wasn't in on bilking.

I mean, I was black and an American in 2000 and 2001. I filed returns in those years. Where's my graft? Where's my government teat? Where's the love for the Loman?

I am so depressed.