Singles night at Wal-Mart - Apr. 8, 2005

Just when you thought you'd heard it all from the kind of discount shopping, Wal-Mart is now pitching itself as the new dating hot spot -- with everyday low prices to boot.

Oh, good gravy! The next thing you know, you'll walk into Walmart and be greeted with “You want a date?” or “$5! $5! C’mon! I’ll suck your dick!" Really, first, it's dating; then, like the other shoe dropping, it's flat-out whoring -- ejaculate cleanups on Aisle 6. If I've seen it once -- and I'm from Fayetteville, NC; I've seen it once -- I've seen it a thousand times.

Actually, that's an intriguing enough proposition to get me thinking about a visit my local Wal-Mart, just like the thought of a manager pimp-slapping a geriatric smiley-worker or a challenged greeter for holding out on him is enough to keep me away.