It Tastes Like Chicken

A judge sentenced the man convicted of putting his own fecal matter on food at a Dallas grocery store to five years in prison.

Against his attorney's advice, Behrouz Nahidmobarekeh took the stand in his own defense to explain why he did it....

"I picked up that dry feces I talked about it it couldn't hurt anybody I could get, even if I get caught I want to teach these people a lesson." said Nahidmobarekeh.

He said he thought they didn't properly address his complaints he'd made against the store....

Store owners initially called police after customers complained the fresh-baked items smelled and tasted like manure.

Let's see, a fresh-baked pastry item smelled like manure, yet, despite the smell (and I would hope, your better judgment), you bit into it anyway, only to find that, yes, indeed, it tasted like manure, too? Is that what you're telling me? If that's the case, I have to say, no crime was committed here: You got exactly what you paid for.