It's a Catch-22, Really: If You're Old Enough to Ask for the Breast, You're Too Old to Suckle the Breast

Elizah is approaching her eighth birthday and is not happy at the prospect of giving up her daily feed. "“I don'’t want to be weaned. I want to breastfeed for ever," she said.

So do the rest of us, but here's the thing: We want to do it from someone else's breasts, not our mothers'. That's creepy.

When the department of children services puts you into a normal home, where the family members don't attend the Our Lady of the Nursing Bra First Lactating Church, you'll see what we mean.