"Passengers Bravely Take Down Plane Showing Big Momma's House 2" by The Onion

The Federal Aviation Administration announced today that United Airlines Flight 43, which crashed outside Parkersburg, WV last Thursday, was in fact brought down by passengers who voluntarily sacrificed their lives in order to prevent the screening of the in-flight movie selection, Big Momma's House 2.

Crews search the crash site, just hours after Flight 43 went down.

All 105 people onboard died in the crash.

'As we examine the passengers' cell-phone calls and flight recordings, we get a sense of the incredible courage displayed by these ordinary men and women,' said FAA Administrator Marion Blakey at a press conference Monday, during which excerpts from the recordings were played. 'They acted in the only way they could to stop this unspeakable horror starring Martin Lawrence as an FBI agent who goes undercover as a nanny for a sexy murder suspect.'

'These people are true American heroes,' Blakey added.

Some might see things differently, but, not me. I agree: They are the wind beneath my wings.