They're Everywhere, Damn It

Since time immemorial the Nukak-Maku have lived a Stone Age life, roaming across hundreds of miles of isolated and pristine Amazon jungle, killing monkeys with blowguns and scouring the forest floor for berries.

But recently, and rather mysteriously, a group of nearly 80 wandered out of the wilderness, half-naked, a gaggle of children and pet monkeys in tow, and declared themselves ready to join the modern world.

"Oh, good," said the Nukak-Maku tribesmen leader, pointing to a corner on the intersection of San Jose del Guaviare's two main thoroughfares. "They've got a Starbucks here, too. Who wants Mocas?"