Amen, Rev. Hughes. Amen

I'm a Jesus Jerk.

I don't take shit from anybody, especially when it comes to my beliefs and my religion. I'm always right, and I'll sacrifice your personal health and state of well-being to prove it.

I've been known to introduce people to the Holy Trinity of ass-whooping: my fist, my foot, and an eternity in the pain capsule of purgatory. . . .

I don't care if you're Episcopalian, Baptist, Mormon or a Muslim terrorist -- if you don't accept Jesus into your heart, I will punch you in the throat. I know all of the ways to send a sinner to Hell: I've been trained in four types of holy martial arts, including Christ-Fu, Jew-jitsu, and Ninjutsuckersgetpunchedintheface.

And I'm a Bouncer for Buddha. Don't get me started on the kind of shit hammers I can lay down.