He's Got a Guide to Black Jack, as Well

I've been considering a trip to Vegas. In my research, I discovered this Lucky Ned's Guide to Roulette:

Roulette requires precise concentration, cat-like agility and the ability to pick winning numbers. The naysayers claim that the way numbers come up on a roulette wheel is random. I say, RANDOM MY ASS! If roulette is so random, how come I'm always such a big winner? WHY HAVE I BEEN FORCIBLY REMOVED FROM CASINOS? And don't use the casino's excuse that I was drunk, unruly, and passed out twice with my head on the black square. I know a smokescreen when I see one. If you are good at the lottery you'll be great at roulette. And with a little practice, you'll GET THROWN OUT OF CASINOS TOO!!"

Now, I'm convinced the only way to gamble honestly in Vegas is to visit a brothel. Call it the Loman System.