Let's Just Say, When You're Covered in Man Goo, the Police Let You Slide

On March 30, Minnesota Timberwolves center Eddie Griffin was drunk and masturbating when he crashed his luxury SUV into a parked Suburban outside a store in Minneapolis, according to a lawsuit filed Thursday by the man whose Suburban was hit in the crash.

This story includes pictures and a video.

Of the wrecked car.

Not Minnesota Tiberwolves center Eddie Griffin, drunk and masturbating.

'Cause that would be gross.

Eew.

Feel shame.