"Loman Black" Is Going to be Included in the Next Box of Crayola Crayons

Black guy: What would you say if I said I wanted to get a Mystic Tan?
Tanning consultant: Oh, you could. It would give you a nice glow.
Black guy: You're not even going to discourage me?! I would never get a spray on tan. The blacker you are, the higher people assume your crime rate is.

That's true. Yaphet Kotto can't leave the house without a team of assistants and a GPS device to verify his alibi information. Wesley Snipes use to get the same treatment -- but I hear he's been Lightening -- and now, he can. Myself, I travel with a box of rubber gloves and lube to help out on the cavity searches. (You can't always depend on the police to bring their own, and then, some cities have budget cuts. Gloves and lubes are, usually, the first things to go.)