Test Your Sexist, Ageist, and Racist Tendencies by Victor Anthoni

1. If an 18 year old girl is like a Krispy Kreme glazed doughnut, then a sexy middle-aged woman is like:

a. a cinnamon bun
b. mincemeat pie
c. year old ham in the back of the fridge
d. one of those Eli’s assorted cheesecakes, where you get two slices of 4 or 5 different kinds of cheesecake all in the same package

Answer: D. While the doughnut has that attractive, mouth-watering hole, it gets rather boring and a bit sugar-sickening after a couple of bites. And while the cheesecake, by nature, has more fat, you totally forget about that once you start eating it.

Mmmm, cheesecake. Damn, now, I'm going to be dreaming about cheesecake for the rest of the day. But I digress.

To the point, my ageism was shown when I refused to believe you could tell a middle-aged woman that she was "by nature," fatter than an 18-year-old and not get your testicles kicked into your auditory canals.

Yes, I'm sexist, too.