Some People Are Having More Sex in Their Sleep than I Am in My Waking Life
A man with mischief afoot entered a home and licked the toe of a sleeping woman over the weekend, police said. The man reportedly licked the woman's left big toe while she was sleeping early Sunday, the Scripps Treasure Coast Newspapers reported.
The report of the intrusion was overshadowed by the significance of the event, itself, as the toe-licking episode provided further proof that men really don't have any idea where the clitoris is. And that's just sad.
"I feel violated and it'll be some time before I feel completely safe in my home again," said the unidentified victim, "but, honestly, that guy got closer to it than my husband has in ten years of marriage." Which is very sad, indeed.
posted by Biff Loman at 4:56 PM
2 Comments:
Even though you're skeptical, things could improve for you, you might just come down with a raging case of sexsomnia.
Yanno?
Yeah, I know.
But if I do develop sexomnia, I sure hope I don't waste any REM on toes. I mean, toes are fine and all, but if you're orally fixated -- and let's face it: I so am -- there are better places to blow your sleep.
Mostly, though, I would be disappointed. I know what I think about during the day when my mind is shackled by morality and ethics and such. It would break my heart to know my subconscious wasn't lying in wait for me with something more exotic than a foot fetish.
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