And I Thought Janet Jackson Was Weird for Getting Coffee Colonics

Charges have been dropped against a Texas woman who was accused of giving her husband a sherry enema that killed him, the prosecutor in the case said on Wednesday.

Tammy Jean Warner had been scheduled to face trial for negligent homicide in the May 2004 death of Michael Warner, 58, but Brazoria County District Attorney Jeri Yenne said the charges were dismissed a month ago for lack of evidence.

In an official statement, the Brazoria County Coroner, Dr. Robert Quincy, said, “Oh, we know where the evidence is. We just can't find anyone willing to get it.

“We're between interns at the moment.”

At the time of Warner's indictment in 2005, police told the Houston Chronicle the woman had given her husband two large bottles of sherry, which raised his blood alcohol level to 0.47 percent, or nearly six times the level considered legally drunk in Texas.

Warner admitted administering the enema but denied she caused the death of her husband, who was a machine-shop operator. The incident occurred at their home in Lake Jackson, near Houston.

She told the newspaper her husband was addicted to enemas and often used alcohol in that manner. Police said Warner had a throat ailment that left him unable to drink the sherry.

Which was probably his body's way of telling him to switch to bourbon.

That said, given the disregard I have for it, if left with two bottles of sherry, I'd sooner pour them in my ass than in my mouth. I find the stuff repulsive. (Notice, here, that the thought of not drinking it at all was not considered seriously as an option.)